Martial, come. >:]

[Fang]

You wanted to work on character development? Well, first tell me what character you want. Then give me an average post, and the personality section out of that char's bio.

[Martial]

Okay! =3

Personnality: Martial is friendly, however he is extremely stupid. He is logical most of the time, and can back up his words with strength, but mostly he stays out of those "brainy" conversations.

"Ah, crap."
Martial picked himself up from the mud and shook his fur. He had to admit, trudging through the marshes was not his idea of a picnic. Why had he even come here?
He grumbled to himself something about moles and sighed, straightening. It was time to turn back; he would never even make it across the marshes, let alone over the top of the valley. But he just had to see. What lay beyond the valley? He had seen a better part of the world then most non-travelling packs, since he was part of the small group that made it from the old home to this valley. Now Martial was hungry for more.

[Kana]

I have something to add to your post. not for the personality but the post. Talk about where he was, was it day or night. more depth in his emotions. Talk about if there are noises in the forest or the sounds around him. talk more in depth for his fur, how much mud or what ever is on his coat.

Just a little things!!!

so your post:
"Ah, crap."
Martial picked himself up from the mud and shook his fur. He had to admit, trudging through the marshes was not his idea of a picnic. Why had he even come here?
He grumbled to himself something about moles and sighed, straightening. It was time to turn back; he would never even make it across the marshes, let alone over the top of the valley. But he just had to see. What lay beyond the valley? He had seen a better part of the world then most non-traveling packs, since he was part of the small group that made it from the old home to this valley. Now Martial was hungry for more.

Yours with mine version... sorry.

"Ah Crap", and Martial pulled him self from the mud. He started to shake his coat from the goop that was making him heavier. He looked around and thought to him self, Why am i here?
The marshes were not a ideal place for a wolf, it was hard to get around, the ground made you sink into it like quick sand, there wasn't really any food around these parts any which way. But some wolves liked it. In the distance you could her birds talking with one another, chatting and flying between the forest.
He growled to himself about moles, stretching, extending his paws and stretching his back, he then straightened.

Looking around he deiced to turn back, he could make it across the mashes, let alone over the top of the valley. But he kept looking back, wondering what was on the other side, he wanted to know. It was killing him, his mind said no, but his body said yes. His mind went off on a rampage, thinking like crazy, yet only on question laid in his head. What lay beyond the valley? His eyes stayed on the marshes, seeing birds play on the other side, it must be fun. He had seen better parts of the world then most non-traveling packs, yet since it was a small pack now a days, he was more curious. His eyes stayed on the other side, mind still racing, yet he couldn't make it. Or could he?

[Martial]

Okay, let me try again.

"Ah, crap."
Martial picked himself up from the mud and shook the brown goop off his fur. A bit of it stuck and begin to harden. Great, he bthought, now he'd have to go take a bath in the river afterwords. He had to admit, trudging through the marshes was not his idea of a picnic. Why had he even come here?
He grumbled to himself something about moles and sighed, straightening. It was time to turn back; he would never even make it across the marshes, let alone over the top of the valley. But he just had to see. What lay beyond the valley? He had seen a better part of the world then most non-travelling packs, since he was part of the small group that made it from the old home to this valley. Now Martial was hungry for more.
There was nothing aroung him at all, not even the faintest scent of sound of prey. How did they hunt around here? How did they even get around without sinking themselves in mud? Both those thoughts were thought as he picked his front paw out of another large puddle.

[Fang]

Ignoring yours and Kana's posts (sorry Kana), I see your problem: you didn't give him ENOUGH personnality. At the end of this, you should be able to discribe it in at least a good full paragraph.

Okay, I want you to jot down all his personnality traits. Example:
-shy
-overworker
-hates large groups
Etc. They should all fit with each other, so for example don't have one trait that says he's shy and another that says he loves large groups. K? Go. :3

[Kana]

ahh.... ok then! i tried

[Fang]

You did the right thing, but in the wrong thread. Go help him with his roleplaying on his other thread. Nice siggie, by the way.

[Martial]

Okay.

-Blunt
-Not very friendly to strangers
-Tends to think outloud to himself
-Gets grumpy when others disturb his peace
-Even though he's strong he doesn't really like to use his strength if he can help it
-Witty, in a stupid way

[Fang]

Okay. We're going to break your character down into little pieces. Here's your second excersise:

1. What makes her happy? Sad? Angry? How does she react to these emotions? (I stole that word for word from a friend xD)

2. How has her past shaped her personality?

3. What sort of leader/follower qualities does she have?

4. How does she act around others whom she knows?

5. How does she act around strangers in contrast to around friends or others she knows?

[Martial]

Martial's a male... but I'll ignore that. xD

1. What makes her happy? Sad? Angry? How does she react to these emotions? (I stole that word for word from a friend xD)
Martial becomes quite happy when he sees food or if he's talking to a good friend. However, what really ticks him off is when people talk to him as if they're superior. He gets depressed if he's lonely for a time.

2. How has his past shaped his personality?
He used to be a real loner until he started meeting the nicer wolves around the old PD. Now he's a bit more social, but still likes his alone time. He doesn't have very much history like other wolves have, so nothing except that really.

3. What sort of leader/follower qualities does he have?
Martial is content to follow or lead. He's not the best pack member, though, as he prefers to keep to himself rather than work with others and he has absolutely no respect for his superiors.

4. How does he act around others whom he knows?
He's a wolf of few words. Instead of showing his gratitude for friends by speaking, he uses actions. He loves to chatter with them occasionaly, though.
Unless they're his enemy or he doesn't particularily like them, he's usually just himself around them. Being around friends, for him, is a chance to just let go.

5. How does he act around strangers in contrast to around friends or others he knows?
To strangers, he settles on using smart, more witty than helpful comments. His heart softens around younger pups, but he has no respect at all for his elders or superiors.

[Fang]

Martial's a male... but I'll ignore that. xD

Woops, sorry! I knew that, I just wasn't thinking. =P

Okay... what I get from Martial is that he's a bit social, but he prefers to be alone. He has a habit of making comments that are more witty than helpful, and he likes to be around a few close friends rather than a large group. Martial also likes food (lol) and young pups, but has zero respect for elders or superiors. He's not a great leader or follower, but prefers to follow.

Is that right? If so, I now want you to make a paragraph about that. But a paragraph that flows, not one like I just made. xD

[Martial]

That was pretty much on the dot right, Fang. Nice.

Okay, here goes:

Martial is not the most social wolf ever. He likes company, but enjoys his alone time as well. He'd rather be among a few close friends than a large group, but when he's on the hunt or patrolling, he tends to stay behind, choosing so follow rather than lead.
Martial isn't the best wolf to have in a pack, as he has absolutely no respect for his elders or superiors. He's not great at following orders, either, but prefers to do that rather than give them out. However, he's quick to question other's judgement, much to their annoyance, and has a nasty habit of making comments that are more witty than helpful.
However, the large red wolf has a soft spot for young cubs, as do most wolves his age. They strike a place in his heart right next to food and a good night's sleep.

How's that?