Things are getting Ugly...

[Kana]

So after 4 years, me and my boyfriend finally broke up. Which is tearing me apart cause he's the one that broke up with me, and i cant take much of it. I live with one of my friends, and he is ALWAYS over here. It pisses me off cause he seems just fine by it and it's "always my fault." I don't know what the --- his problem is, or why the heck he is acting like a total --. I don't know if its just to prove something to me or just to piss me off, but i always cry now, im never happy. I am always thinking of him, im tired of --- dealing with this --, i want to move on, but hes always over here!!!! :/ Life is becoming a bigger hassle every day.

And to make matters worse, my friend that im staying at is pissed with me cause of something that was taken the wrong way. She thinks i called her a backstabbing --, and i didn't! She thinks that im staying that i finally am seeing her true colors, and it was supposed to be meant in a positives way, not negative. I just don't know whats wrong with me, but i hate how i am, i hate everything about me, im not a good friend im not a good girlfriend and i will have to live the rest of my life, knowing i hurt a man that i cared for I just don't know what to do! Everything reminds me of him, i cant move on to a different relationship cause it just will remind me of him to much

So as the title says, Things are getting Ugly, and its so true, for a while i will be gone, i don't know now long, i don't know if things will get better, i'll come on every now and then, but i just cant take life right now, its pissing me off, and my spring break is just crap :/

(Edited by the Mod Team)

[Mero]

Kana. I understand that you are hurting right now. I know you feel like your a horrible person. But just because this experiance happened, don't let it cause you to dwell on it for all eternity. You will heal from this over time. It probably dosen't feel like it right now. But trust me, the pain will go away. And nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. And if you try to hard to be a good person. You'll make yourself sick. YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. AND YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND. And if you are lost or you feel like you've been stabbed in the back. Don't get the idea that theres no good friends out there. You may feel alone and depressed for a while. Try to do things good for yourself. Go on a walk at the park. Go swimming. Go to an Art Mueseam(I think art mueseam's are a calm way of enjoyment in my opinion.) Go to an elderly person's home and offer to help them. Or something else like that. Helping other people and making them smile is one of the best ways to beat the blues and build confidence. And don't let yourself think crying shows weakness. Crying is one of the best ways to cope with pain. Try to get out with people you trust and love. Theres also something i want you to read. I'll pm it too you.